


Ice Cream

by pipisafoat



Category: The X-Files
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-05-30
Updated: 2011-05-30
Packaged: 2017-10-19 22:30:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 316
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/205906
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pipisafoat/pseuds/pipisafoat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Telling me that Frohike is listening in is supposed to make me have phone sex with you?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ice Cream

"I can't believe you're still going on about that one mistake, Scully. After all these years of being my partner, after all these years of me being right, you're still stuck on that one alien autopsy!"

"Primate, Mulder. That was a primate."

"Are you saying monkeys aren't aliens?"

"Yes, actually, I am saying that. Monkeys aren't aliens, no matter how badly you want them to be."

"So are they human?"

"Why am I even talking to you about this? You're not an idiot, which means I am, because you're just jerking my chain."

"There are other things I could be jerking."

"Not without me there."

"Aw, come on, Scully, haven't you ever heard of phone sex?"

"Sure I have, Mulder. That doesn't mean I don't want to appreciate the real thing if I can."

"But I'm not there, and you're not here, and we're both on the phone together... it's the optimum conditions for phone sex!"

"With all the people you claim have your phone tapped? I don't think so. You'd have better luck playing phone charades."

"It's just the Gunmen now, Scully. They got rid of all the other bugs."

"Telling me that Frohike is listening in is supposed to make me have phone sex with you?"

"... Maybe I'll just come over to your place."

"Bring ice cream."

"And caramel sauce?"

"And chocolate sauce. And call Frohike on your way over to make sure there aren't any cameras in my living room he could use to watch us."

* * *

Deep in the Gunmen's Lair, Melvin Frohike frantically pushed buttons and turned knobs until two views of Scully's living room popped into view. He stared wide-eyed at the screen before groaning loudly and walking away.

One screen held a fancily decorated sign reading "APRIL FOOL'S, FROHIKE", and the other showed the two agents sitting on Scully's couch, eating the ice cream from bowls instead of each other.


End file.
